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Again

from Once | Again by avoid.

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lyrics

I quit believing I never mattered the moment I saw her face. I stopped and prayed to God at the altar, though I didn't believe that day. Every starry night I put to waste I swear I found in you. Comfort is so hard to find when I'm alone inside our room.

I never could've loved you the way I hate myself. Keep the good of me in mind.

I quit believing in changes. I quit believing in writing. I quit believing in hoping. I quit believing in everything.

As I watch you undress from a top the bedroom steps, got your skin in perfect sync; my name tattooed across your neck. Finding pictures on the walls tilted slightly to the right. Marks of dirt and blood and sweat to remind us of that night. There are bodies in the closet; mannequins with dresses- tall. Holding vases. Eyeing phrases. We both know you used them all. Flower petals on the stand next to our bed; I don't forget anniversary; it hurts how much I love you on my chest.
There are nights I hear you crying. Dear, I hear you yelling out. It is 4:30 am and I feel strapped down to this couch. The memories, the crash, they all pass through my head. I am the reason for your tears, I broke the vow said when we wed.
Your father swore I was a good man. He believed that I'd keep you safe when he walked you down the aisle. Then he handed you to me. His face filled up with joy and tears, shot a stare straight in my eye. A quiet man, he spoke five words. He said "Son, please treat her right"
Now I'm gazing at a ceiling, loving the man I never was. Stronger mind, stronger will, stronger for you when we miscarried our son.
Pages I penned, I penned for you; inspired most by what I love. Forever, you, you are my muse, and you will still be when I'm gone.
I feel that feeling coming on. I'm falling faster less afraid. Heart is racing, mind is pacing; how you said you felt that day.
There is nothing in this world that can hurt me when it hits.
My eyes are closed and they won't open up but I can feel your breath.

It's nice to see you again.

credits

from Once | Again, released September 30, 2016

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avoid. Cedar Falls, Iowa

Five people trying to make the most honest music possible.

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