Once | Again

by avoid.

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raysetsfire Wow. I love this kind of music and it's done so well here. How these two tracks tell one story, how they're constructed, how the story-telling is reflected in it, the mix of melody and roughness. Love it! Especially that heart-breaking ending. Favorite track: Again.
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released September 30, 2016



all rights reserved


avoid. Cedar Falls, Iowa

Five people trying to make the most honest music possible.

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Track Name: Once
The lights out on the city always seem to dull at night 'cause your eyes are so damn bright, I'd stare them down 'til both of mine go blind.
The flicker of a lighter; the smell of a cigarette; your secondhand tastes sweet.
We ventured into alleys, singing all those songs; it was chorus after chorus, I didn't care if the words were wrong.

Let go of your fears, get ready for this. You know I love you

As I'm sinking into the depths of your bed I'm sensing silence slowly stuttered into heavy heaving....breaths.

I woke up smiling by a window in a highrise in the city you lived in. Felt a small breeze drift in; it flew through my shirt, when the chill hit my bones I kissed you nose to nose. I found love in your eyes and the words that you spoke. Rid every ounce of doubt. I found purpose in your laugh and the roof of your mouth.
There are delicate truths hidden deep in the corners of your lips.
I would kiss them every night just to get a taste of some of it.

Spent the day in the car driving through state lines back from your parents house. Coldest december, the ice keeps you afraid. Gas pedal pressed too hard, no stop to my body's tremble. Nothing you say will convince me that it happened any different.
Why was it him? Was I ever enough? Were you always with him on the nights I was gone? Do you see his face when you stare into mine? If it's nothing at all, why won't you say goodbye?
"Don't blame me for the things in your head, I'm not your past. I'm not the things that she did. There is a part of you that never let's go, this blame is on you."
I'll hold it, 'til I'm gone.

I was a man once, now I can't breathe. Glass scalp, heart beat, there's blood on her cheeks. Under the hood, I hear her scream "Somebody, somebody please"

Tell me father, is it okay to cry when I am a murderer?
May not find forgiveness in life, but I found a bottle.
Bathe me in blood; soak my guilt hands; I lost faith when I lost her.
Track Name: Again
I quit believing I never mattered the moment I saw her face. I stopped and prayed to God at the altar, though I didn't believe that day. Every starry night I put to waste I swear I found in you. Comfort is so hard to find when I'm alone inside our room.

I never could've loved you the way I hate myself. Keep the good of me in mind.

I quit believing in changes. I quit believing in writing. I quit believing in hoping. I quit believing in everything.

As I watch you undress from a top the bedroom steps, got your skin in perfect sync; my name tattooed across your neck. Finding pictures on the walls tilted slightly to the right. Marks of dirt and blood and sweat to remind us of that night. There are bodies in the closet; mannequins with dresses- tall. Holding vases. Eyeing phrases. We both know you used them all. Flower petals on the stand next to our bed; I don't forget anniversary; it hurts how much I love you on my chest.
There are nights I hear you crying. Dear, I hear you yelling out. It is 4:30 am and I feel strapped down to this couch. The memories, the crash, they all pass through my head. I am the reason for your tears, I broke the vow said when we wed.
Your father swore I was a good man. He believed that I'd keep you safe when he walked you down the aisle. Then he handed you to me. His face filled up with joy and tears, shot a stare straight in my eye. A quiet man, he spoke five words. He said "Son, please treat her right"
Now I'm gazing at a ceiling, loving the man I never was. Stronger mind, stronger will, stronger for you when we miscarried our son.
Pages I penned, I penned for you; inspired most by what I love. Forever, you, you are my muse, and you will still be when I'm gone.
I feel that feeling coming on. I'm falling faster less afraid. Heart is racing, mind is pacing; how you said you felt that day.
There is nothing in this world that can hurt me when it hits.
My eyes are closed and they won't open up but I can feel your breath.

It's nice to see you again.